MOVED TO A NEW HOME

Hi blogspot!

I haven't posted here in a long time because I find it difficult to maintain multiple blogs. So I've decided to put all my posts up on tumblr. Please visit if you have the time. God bless!

Newly revamped blog: paperhymns.tumblr.com

Revival Fire, Revival Worship

“But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshippers will worship the Father in Spirit and in truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship Him.”

John 4: 23

For the past few weeks, I haven’t been the authentic worshipper that God seeks, that God deserves. Ever since the start of school, my technical and analytical machine of a brain turned on and everything about school and my studies were organized to the smallest detail. It was good at first because I was able to balance my time for service and time for studies. But then all the scheduling and studying took its toll. Instead of feeling more relaxed because of my organized homework and studies, I felt even more stressed.

I love God and I love serving Him. Every time I get up on stage, I have this butterfly feeling in my stomach that slowly fades as the music starts. I’m a very musical person, so for me, music is my way of expressing love. When I have something in my heart that I want to tell the Lord but can’t express it in words, I sing it. I sing to Him.

The last time I remember being so lost in God’s presence was at GenRev Camp ’09. The teachings these past few weeks have really struck me. I realized how technical I have been with my studies. Not only that, I’ve been so technical about my service, which is just an overflow of my love for God, my relationship with Him. I realized that this isn’t the service that God deserves. This is not the worship that He deserves.

Last Friday, when Sis Jane came here to Davao, we sang “Heal Me Lord” during the worship. I really felt the presence of the Lord that night. I felt the fire burning within me again as I asked for forgiveness and as I sang my heart out to the Lord. The song seemed to flow more naturally out of me. I sang what was in my heart knowing that God would hear me, would hear my cry. I felt the breath knocked out of me and before I knew it, I was on the floor kneeling, with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t hear the music from the instruments anymore. I couldn’t hear my fellow servants anymore. I felt a tightening in my throat so I couldn’t sing at all anymore, but my heart was screaming. Although no sound came out of my mouth, my heart was screaming out loud, “I’m sorry Lord. I’m sorry.” Then I felt two hands touch the crown of my head. I heard tito Mark praying in my ear, “Whatever mistakes you did in the past, the Lord has forgotten them. He has forgiven you.” After his prayer, I was totally undone. I felt refreshed and revived.

I learned that true worship can only be achieved when I have a personal relationship with the Lord. My service, my studies, they are all a form of worship. To worship God in Spirit and in truth means laying down all my imperfections and sins; confessing that I am nothing without Him; breaking down the wall of pride entirely and glorifying his name with no reservations.

We Are Different, The Difference

My English 4 essay on what makes Pisay students so different:

There are about one hundred and thirty one public and private high schools in Davao city. Over ninety seven thousand students enroll in these schools every year. Now, imagine 3,377 high schools and 1,290,792 high school students all over the Philippines. That’s a BIG number! How much more around the WORLD?! So, out of a million students, take down ninety seven thousand. Out of ninety seven thousand, set apart three hundred sixty, and you have us, the students of Philippine Science High School Southern Mindanao Campus. It makes you wonder, right? What makes us so different from all the other million students out there?

After studying in Philippine Science - or “Pisay”, as we like to call it - for four years, I have been witness to all kinds of greatness, as well as failure. But never have I seen such a dedicated and determined few. Here in Pisay, we are called to excellence. Which isn’t much of a surprise since Pisay is home to award-winning students, gold medalists, champions, achievers, and some of the brightest minds Philippines has to offer. Pisay provides scholarships to students with a high aptitude in science and mathematics as it aims to produce a young batch of scientists and inventors with hopes of improving our country and changing the world. We are after all, “Scholars ng bayan”. Every student in Pisay is a scholar. And we are “dedicated to the service of our country and committed to the pursuit of truth”, as stated in the PSHS Vision.

Here in Pisay, mediocrity is not an option. In this early age, we are introduced to a culture of discipline. Study habits are a basic need for every student of Pisay. But not only do we excel in academics, but Pisay students are also achievers in the field of sports and performing arts. We aim for the best and become our best as we learn from the toughest of curriculums, the steepest of deadlines, and the most amazing and brightest bunch of teachers. No amount of money can ever repay the time, talent and treasure it takes to nurture the minds of young Einsteins and Einsteinettes.

But, just like any other high school, Pisay has its ups and downs. What does matter though is the ability of the students to learn from their mistakes and to rise above the ashes. Okay, so maybe not every student in Pisay excels, but every student here has the potential to do better and to aim higher. Here in Pisay, it’s not like “every man for himself.” Rather, Pisay students work together to achieve a common goal. That’s what makes us different. We are all in this together. As a senior in Pisay, I would never have made it this far if it were not for the support of my friends and classmates and the supervision of my teachers. Students at the top of my class inspire me to give a little more and to try a little harder. We help each other in the field of academics and the field of life.

Jose Rizal once wrote, “… Where are the youth, who will embody in themselves… the fire of enthusiasm that has been quenched in our hearts?” My reply is this, “Here we are, we are different; the difference.”

Christmas Is Everlasting Love

Christmas is the happiest season of the year and the season with the most love. Families all around the world gather and reunite to spend Christmas together. Others take time decorating and redecorating their homes, putting up as many Christmas lights as they can. Others simply enjoy Noche Buena with their family members. They give gifts and receive gifts. But does all of these bear the true essence of Christmas?

Christmas is the day that a prince was born, the day when a savior came to the world to share His love and to save us from all sin. Jesus came, and the world was filled with everlasting love. The eternal love of Christ created the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas disregards the importance of the feasts, gifts, lights, trees, etc. Christmas means sharing the love that Christ gave, spreading it to everyone. Touching the hearts of the strangers you meet. Giving even a mere ounce of Jesus’ love manifests that our God is alive and working in us.

So Christmas isn’t just about the presents you get or give, nor is it the place you spend Christmas at. It’s about the pure and everlasting love that Christ gave and using it to let the world know that a savior was born on this day and that that savior gave His life for all of mankind. So everybody, “Give love on Christmas day!” Share His pure, true, holy, beautiful and “everlasting love”.

MAY THE JOY OF CHRIST’S LOVE BE IN YOUR HEARTS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
GOD BLESS! :)

On Learning To Be Humble

Ever since I went to high school, everything changed for me. From being the most popular kid in school (as in student council president, valedictorian, lead role in school play, you name it!) to being the silent demure girl from III-Sodium. The old me was the one girl everybody in school liked. She was the teacher’s, even the principal’s, favorite. The only problem with the old me is that she kept everything for herself. She wanted all the glory. She wanted to be the best of the best. She wanted to please everyone around her and be everything for everyone.

Two years ago, in GenRev Camp at Dauin, Dumaguete, I decided to walk through “the door” declaring “I’m yours Lord!” That was the turning point of my life. That was it, and there’s no turning back. That meant giving up all the glory and achievements and laying them down at His feet. Then I realized, what do I have that I could ever boast of? What does everything I value - physical appearance, intelligence, achievements, talents - matter in eternity? God’s word says in Galatians 6:14 “But may I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” In order for me to really give everything up to the Lord, the first thing I had to get rid off was my pride. The moment I stepped through that door, I was brought to tears. It was really just the Holy Spirit who compelled me to do it. At that time, I didn’t think of anything else. There was only one thing in my mind, “I surrender. I’m yours Lord.” True enough, God wanted to test my loyalty. In my freshman year, everyone in my batch avoided me. They didn’t want to be involved in anything that included me all because a group of boys teased me for being such a Jesus freak and influenced other people to join in the persecution. My family was oblivious to everything that was happening (actually, they still don’t know anything about this). At first, whenever I stepped in school, tears would well up in my eyes and my heart would get incredibly heavy. I asked the Lord for a message then he sent me to Sirach 2:1, “My son, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials.” I was speechless and in tears. I knew then that whatever I was going through was necessary. “For in fire gold is tested and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation” (Sirach 2:5). For years, I put up with persecutions here and there, but what they thought of me didn’t matter anymore. I kept my eyes fixed on Him. All of the devil’s attempts to shake me were pointless. God kept me up and I learned to depend on him.

I was at an incredibly low point of my life but ironically, I was extremely happy. I received persecutions with a smile knowing that each one helped me grow stronger in the Lord. I don’t mean for this blog to be too preachy, but I state my life as it is. Before, I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but when I started to fill that God-shaped whole, that weight was lifted. An even heavier load was placed on my shoulders, a great big burden for souls. It’s really heavy but now I have God with me. When I decided to set myself apart for the Lord’s service, life became bitter, but God even sweeter. Bro. Willy Nakar states that, “God allows brokenness in our lives to break our will and keep us dependent on Him. All of the crushing misfortune is to bring us to the point where we have to turn to the Lord and trust Him.” It was time to consider my trials and hardships as nothing but joy. Right then and there, God revealed something to me, humility is not about giving everything you have and thinking lowly of yourself. I learned of the true meaning of humility, that is, the total dependence on God and embracing the fact that I am nothing without Him. The very people who teased and avoided me before are now my friends, and I’ve come to distinguish a few people as true friends who’d stand by me no matter what. I’ve come a long way in learning about humility and still have a long way to go. I haven’t come to the point of total surrender yet. But, I know that it’s only then that I will be able to receive the full extent of his blessings.

I still go through persecutions, though it’s not like before. Now it comes in different ways, may it be in the form of family hardships or difficult circumstances. But what matters now is longevity, the minute by minute commitment that stretches out into a lifetime of dedication.

The Race

Closer and closer to reaching that goal
Just a little more, a little more hardcore
This is it, there's no turning back
Just a little fact.

My palms are all sweaty
I can almost taste sweet victory
But really, I'm so tired
I feel like I'm being fried.

I'm not giving up
This is my calling
I'm gonna finish this race
No matter what they're saying.

The road is narrow
The path bumpy
At times i feel like quitting
But the price is worth running.

Oh, when the time comes
When I receive the prize
When the trumpet finally sounds
This runner finally flies.

Clouds

Ellen Mastro one said, "Mistakes are steppingstones upon which we build our future. With each one we gain insight and courage, learn something new, and rise a little closer to the sunshine. Then we begin again."

Ever since I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my life was ultimately changed. My life suddenly became like nothing it ever was before. Life was harder. It was full of struggles. It was full of hardships, hardships that clearly tested my faith. I was persecuted because of my faith. I had only one true friend in the entire school. I encountered many problems.

With all of those trials and obstacles, I often experienced defeat. To be perfectly honest, I was such a failure. Everyone thought that I was some Jesus freak (but I am and I'm proud of being one). My family was oblivious to everything that was happening in my life. I failed. I was too caught up in everything. I was defeating myself for not being good enough.

I was asking God for help. He led me to Sirach 2:1 which says, "My son, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials." I think it was then that I understood that the moment I identify myself with Christ, the moment I decide to give it all to Jesus and follow His footsteps, trials and hardships will always come.

Oswald Chambers writes:
"Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. 'The clouds are the dust of His feet' (Nahum 1:3). They are a sign that God is there... Through every cloud He brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child - a relationship simply between God and our own souls, and where other people are but shadows."

As a Christian, I still live with these clouds but things are simplified because of my relationship with Jesus. I continue to press on and live a life the way He wants it. With or without the clouds.